Cord of Three Strands

Being at Ozark, dating is kind of seen as a calamity. It is talked about way too much for the wrong reasons, and is a big deal in some of the wrong ways. Dating is a big deal, but it's getting really confusing, I think. Realize that I am not the authority on dating, but I have read the authority (the Bible- nice right?) and I think there are some things to reconsider about dating. So, here goes...

Firstly, dating is a really big deal...Some people disagree and say, "it's just a time for you to look around and see what you like in a wife." With all due respect to moms and dads everywhere, that's bull. You know what you like in a woman/man, and if you don't you need to be in the Word searching for him/her. Also if you don't know what you want, you better not be dating...Common sense, I would hope. Dating is way too dangerous to be considered anything less than it is. Sexual sin is absolutely rampant, because of the pathetic worldview we've adopted from Stephenie Meyer and Hugh Hefner, and careless dating is a part of that. I'm not talking about pagan hedonists either, I'm talking about Christians. Too many of us are naive to the fact that dating at a young and insecure age leads to sexual temptation, no matter how prestigious of a preacher your dad is.

Dating is for two people who can honestly see themselves getting married. That doesn't mean, "Yeah, she's hot...and Christian." Again, bull. Imagine this with me-- you can be friends first. Shoot, I know that is crazy with the imminent doom of the "friend zone" lurking. Ladies, stop the very real friend zone crap, and perhaps chivalry will rise from the ashes. All the good men aren't gone, they are your friends. Anyways, I don't see my proposal as controversial. Don't date someone when you know it isn't going anywhere. That is purely a physical, lustful attraction at heart and is sinful in ambition.

Don't date non-Christians...This is not debatable in the least. It's not because they are dirty or lesser than you and I, but they are relationally incomplete. Know my heart in this, non-Christians deserve to know love from us, but not a dating/marriage relationship. In the Old Testament God warns his people over-and-over again not to marry outside of their culture. This isn't ethnocentrism, but a concern for their spiritual well-being. Because God knew their hearts (imagine that) would easily be lead astray by men/women from other cultures. The downfall of Solomon is attributed to his love for women of other religions. Your intimate relationships are rooted deeply in you brain, and those people can manipulate you to even leave your faith. Sounds stupid, but I've seen it happen. A vast majority of the time it is easier for the good morality to crumble, rather than the good. And don't be stupid, dating is not an effective missionary tool for converting someone who you really want to be with.

So what DO you do? (I tend to be fairly negative and always talk about the do nots, my bad.) Well, don't date...you can chill out. Dating has become such a strong desire and necessity to feel whole. It hurts me to see that burning desire for wholeness through partnership. This is from immaturity in faith. When you are truly satisfied with your relationship with Christ, that is when you are ready to date. My friends saw a common occurrence when they got to this point--they  didn't care about dating. Strangely enough (no sarcasm), all of us found a wonderful partner soon afterwards. You are NOT ready to date until you are comfortable with yourself, and your greatest love- God.

So take some time and grow. Mature first. I can tell you first-hand that girlfriends do no bring fulfillment. If you haven't had one, they aren't that great to have just because you wanted one. Girls/guys are not life's purpose for you. Some are blessed with singleness, and not in the cheesy sense. Paul agrees, and is a testament to, the effectiveness of singles in missions. Be content with God and no one less. Please be patient, or it could really do some harm. At the same time, it would be best if some of us at Ozark would stop stressing the dating scene so much.

Well I have more that should probably be said, and I will come back to talk about marriage next time. God bless the humble, and I love you all. Thanks for all your encouragement!