If you haven't noticed, people say a great deal of stupid things. It's probably not true, but doesn't it seem like everything is more controversial than it used to be? I don't know if it's because of the increasingly ravenous news industry, or if it's our cute little social media tirades, but stuff just gets blown waaay out of proportion these days. I know for sure that social networking has given people the mirage that they have teeth to their arguments, but it's only as they sit by themselves in front of a computer screen (as I am doing now). People say things that I know they wouldn't be saying to someone's face. So I think it would be helpful to you and I both to lay down some ground rules when talking to anyone about anything (of significance).
5) Face-to-Face
Anything worth talking seriously about is worth meeting face-to-face. I understand there are situations in which that isn't possible or practical, but meeting with the person shows that they are worth your time to talk to. It should be obvious, but don't ever talk about the deep topics online. People are a lot bolder, and therefore more crass, when they are online. Facebook arguments bear literally no fruit, and are usually harmful (I have been guilty, and I'm ashamed). One last note, if you struggle with online arguements, don't read YouTube comments (they are faith shattering).
4) 360° View
I've hear it said that part of the reason Abraham Lincoln was such a great politician was because of his uncanny ability to understand both sides of the issue. It is crucial that when you are talking to someone, that you understand where they are coming from. If you can't even fathom why someone thinks the way they do, then you are probably arrogant/ignorant and have no business talking about life issues. I think this sort of thinking would be valuable when talking about gay marriage, for example. I try to imagine what it would be like for someone to tell me that God would hate it if Amy and I got married. Of course that sounds offensive, that's the love of my life! There will be times that you simply cannot relate to somebody, and please don't pretend to, but you owe it to others to try and understand their motive for thinking the way they do.
3) Intimacy
A big reason that much of Christian evangelism fails is because of a lack of intimacy. You are trying to change a person's worldview, their very core being, without being friends first? That doesn't work in any arena. If you want to change someone's views on something, they need to see you live it out. It means nothing to me if Michael Jordan promotes Hanes underwear; it means a heck of a lot more if my buddy Sam Landis promotes Hanes. Weird example perhaps, but you get the point.
2) Honesty
I have blogged about this subject at length before, but being honest with them and with yourself is super important. Let's be honest, their are some mass murders in the Bible that are kind of tough to understand. There are some ways we talk about God that sound really cheesy to most people, just be honest about that. Be honest that other people have good ideas too, and they have some legit questions that deserve an answer. There is a really thought-provoking song by Propaganda called "Forgive Me for Asking" in which he exposes some of the blinders that people put on their eyes, especially with regards to religion. I think honesty starts with deep reflection. Pair this practice with tip #4 and you can critique your own beliefs by asking questions that people are really asking. You may have to struggle through some things, but you will honestly believe in the end.
1) The most important trait when conversing over important matters is very possibly the key to living a godly life- humility. If pride is the root of all sins and the opposite of God, then humility may be the mark of a changed heart. Humility is deeply linked with #2, but we need to understand that we are not experts on...anything. We are people with limited knowledge and limited capabilities to even understand things. This may rock your world, it may even crush your spirit, but sometimes...you are wrong. *gasp* I don't know when everyone started thinking that they were supposed to be right about everything. Of course I think I'm right (otherwise I wouldn't think that way) but I am also willing to admit that there are things I don't know and will change my opinion if there's a good reason to. Speak to others with the gentleness that comes from humility.
There you have it- gun control, money, religion, sports, food, or whatever. Now you are equip to talk to anyone about anything. Be humble, or be quiet!
5) Face-to-Face
Anything worth talking seriously about is worth meeting face-to-face. I understand there are situations in which that isn't possible or practical, but meeting with the person shows that they are worth your time to talk to. It should be obvious, but don't ever talk about the deep topics online. People are a lot bolder, and therefore more crass, when they are online. Facebook arguments bear literally no fruit, and are usually harmful (I have been guilty, and I'm ashamed). One last note, if you struggle with online arguements, don't read YouTube comments (they are faith shattering).
4) 360° View
I've hear it said that part of the reason Abraham Lincoln was such a great politician was because of his uncanny ability to understand both sides of the issue. It is crucial that when you are talking to someone, that you understand where they are coming from. If you can't even fathom why someone thinks the way they do, then you are probably arrogant/ignorant and have no business talking about life issues. I think this sort of thinking would be valuable when talking about gay marriage, for example. I try to imagine what it would be like for someone to tell me that God would hate it if Amy and I got married. Of course that sounds offensive, that's the love of my life! There will be times that you simply cannot relate to somebody, and please don't pretend to, but you owe it to others to try and understand their motive for thinking the way they do.
3) Intimacy
A big reason that much of Christian evangelism fails is because of a lack of intimacy. You are trying to change a person's worldview, their very core being, without being friends first? That doesn't work in any arena. If you want to change someone's views on something, they need to see you live it out. It means nothing to me if Michael Jordan promotes Hanes underwear; it means a heck of a lot more if my buddy Sam Landis promotes Hanes. Weird example perhaps, but you get the point.
2) Honesty
I have blogged about this subject at length before, but being honest with them and with yourself is super important. Let's be honest, their are some mass murders in the Bible that are kind of tough to understand. There are some ways we talk about God that sound really cheesy to most people, just be honest about that. Be honest that other people have good ideas too, and they have some legit questions that deserve an answer. There is a really thought-provoking song by Propaganda called "Forgive Me for Asking" in which he exposes some of the blinders that people put on their eyes, especially with regards to religion. I think honesty starts with deep reflection. Pair this practice with tip #4 and you can critique your own beliefs by asking questions that people are really asking. You may have to struggle through some things, but you will honestly believe in the end.
1) The most important trait when conversing over important matters is very possibly the key to living a godly life- humility. If pride is the root of all sins and the opposite of God, then humility may be the mark of a changed heart. Humility is deeply linked with #2, but we need to understand that we are not experts on...anything. We are people with limited knowledge and limited capabilities to even understand things. This may rock your world, it may even crush your spirit, but sometimes...you are wrong. *gasp* I don't know when everyone started thinking that they were supposed to be right about everything. Of course I think I'm right (otherwise I wouldn't think that way) but I am also willing to admit that there are things I don't know and will change my opinion if there's a good reason to. Speak to others with the gentleness that comes from humility.
There you have it- gun control, money, religion, sports, food, or whatever. Now you are equip to talk to anyone about anything. Be humble, or be quiet!
David, I really love this. The problem though, is getting people to actually put it into practice. We've become so impersonal (duh, I'm leaving a comment on your blog) in this life. I love your heart in this, brother, and my hope and prayer is that people who read it (yeah, me included) will take your words as true wisdom that needs to be put into practice in our daily lives. Peace be with you, brother.
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