unAmerican Dream

Please understand from the start that this blog is out of my best try for humility, and my desire for urgency. I am as guilty as the next man in every regard. Please read this with an open mind and as if it were from someone important.

I’m typing this in a Starbucks. Home to the hoitiest of the toity. Nine out of ten folks here are wearing Tom’s shoes, house slippers, or those stupid shoes where the soul sticks out past the heel… Most people with laptops have Macs. Most have a $6 coffee. Is this the representation of our generation? If it is, I don’t want anything to do with it. Now, this is coming from a guy with a $200 phone, a $500 laptop, $70 shoes, and glasses worth more than necessary. What I have on me is worth more than some people will see in the year 2011. For the first time in my life I don’t want all this stuff. I want my next phone to be one of the free ones that is just “so awful…2.1 megapixel camera? Where is the twitter app?” I want to refrain from getting new shoes until my toes bust out of them.

 I almost slept in my car last night, just to avoid being a burden to someone else. My girlfriend thought that it was an awful idea. That’s a predictable reaction. I would think that would stink too! That made me think though. What is so bad about sleeping on the cushioned seat of a warm car, with a comforter nonetheless? Oh no! I have experienced poverty at its worst! I have money in the bank, a car that is paid for, and a Droid, but sleeping in the car is an atrocity. It would be easy to type a thousand facts about how impoverished other people are compared to me, but let’s just say that I flush water down the toilet that would be the cleanest some folks could ever hope to drink.

I’m tired of being safe… Why should I be scared of someone because they are homeless? I saw a man peeing in an ally way once, and I rushed Amy away because I wanted to protect her. What are the odds that he was violent and would take my money and my girlfriend? Call me naïve, but that’s too safe. I had a $50 bill in my wallet at the time that I know I should’ve given him. I didn’t think about it at the time. When someone asks you for money, and all you have is some high bill, what does that matter? They need it, and we want it to keep us comfortable, what’s the debate? What kind of broken down church do I represent by acting stingy, selfish, and greedy? I feel like such a fool for all the money I have wasted on selfish ambitions, all the time I spend dreaming of wealth, and all the trends I’ve bought into. I’m sick of living in the generation that makes helping the poor a marketable trend. No more Tom’s-shoes-help-save-the-world mentality. How about I buy a plane ticket and go give someone my own shoes (or cut them in half and give four people shoes [because size 15 is plenty big for two]).

The reason that we don’t trust our Sovereign Lord is because we don’t need to. We are doing just fine on our own. Our bank accounts, clothing, and actions don’t reflect a need for anything. Does it take terminal illness to live outrageously? I don’t want to be fine any longer. If you see me, keep me humble. I want to be a vision of Jesus Christ, not a fuzzy lens that distorts who he is. So until my death I will be fine with being a PC, having Cross Trekkers, using a not-so-smart phone, and sleeping wherever the Lord gives me to lay my head.

I hope you know that every word of this blog is, hopefully, from God and not my own arrogance. Don’t take this from me; take is as an outlet to be challenged by God.