I would like to ask you to no be offended by what I say (not that I plan on being offensive) because I don't say what I say to sound smart or holier than thou, but I am genuinely trying to get all of us to strive for Christ-likeness. One of my life goals is to try and never feel offended when somebody suggests how I can be more Christ-like, so I am just asking that you would feel the same way.
This is going to be directed at the issue of modesty in our little Christian school. I wont pretend that these are all new thoughts or that I am a genius, but maybe it will help for you to read it again.
There is a lot of blame being thrown around for the issues of modesty, lust, and the dress code. "Well if the girls would just wear longer dresses..." "Well if guys didn't wear cut-offs and just be little pervs..." That will never solve anything. So where does the blame fall? The blame falls on every individual. That is less than unhelpful, so let me explain.
Media: Of course the media is jacked up and pushing the lines as far back as they can, and of course they are using sex for marketing, and of course they exploit our desire to be desirable. They do that because it works! I put little to no blame on the media because they are driven by us, not the other way around. If you want to fix the media problem, just get rid of it...T.v. hasn't always been a necessity, you know.
Women: Now something you can't get rid of (little joke to ease the tension). We love to blame the girls for wearing short dresses, skirts, shorts, shirts, etc. Here's the deal: the dress code says don't wear that stuff, so just freaking obey that! That should go without saying. What that promotes about you, from a man's perspective, is that that is what you want from us. You are advertising, so we are looking. That's just the fact of it. However, man's desire for the form of a woman is instilled by God (Genesis 2:21-25 (thanks Zus)). You better be glad we find you so attractive, otherwise marriage would be rough! At the same time, men have perverted that plan for God-given sex-drive and our wandering eyes are the result. With all that being said you need to accept that you are in a fallen world, so you need to adjust to such. In 1 Corinthians 8:12-13 Paul is talking about meat sacrificed to idols and how that works with our freedom in Christ. In verse 13 he says "Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall." He is saying that I will give up all the things I enjoy if that means I can keep my brother from stumbling. Women: for you that may mean that you can't wear some of the pretty stuff you own. If that is the worst thing to ever happen to you, count yourself lucky. Stop being high school girls and become godly women who are uncomfortable in their identity in Christ.
Men: I get sick of blaming girls and the media. Sure they play their part, but are you still a boy? It is time to cut that crap out and make the covenant with your eyes that Job did. It's time to say that you are a man whom God has called to take responsibility for your actions. Sure we are physical creatures, but that excuse doesn't fly when you are called to be DEAD to that. Let's not give girls the excuse of "we wouldn't do it if that's not what they wanted." Let's give them reason to think that what we want from them is a respectful relationship as Christian brothers and sisters. Men don't make excuses. Men were designed to lead, and what are we leading our sisters too? Last thing: quit freaking wearing cut offs when you aren't in the dorm or gym. Go up and change before dinner. Why? Because that is the rule that the godly leaders of this school told us to do, and a real man bows down to authority. Again, nothing they ask is unreasonable. Man up you little boys.
It's time to quit pointing fingers and hindering progress. I apologize for looking at you, sisters, with lustful eyes. Forgive me for just being angry for things out of my control, when I can control my eyes. Just fess up and own your part of the problem. The Gospel isn't a matter of talk, friends. Let's do what we are called to do, even in this seemingly small part. I love you, and I will struggle with you!
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