I feel like my heart is bursting with things to say to the world...I will start wherever God wants me too. I am hurting deeply for my brothers and sisters. There are people out there who don't feel like they have a purpose, people who feel disgusting and ugly, people who feel unforgivable, people who's lives have been struck with a tainted religion or church. There are people who have had such a terrible life that God is the last thing on their mind, and nowhere close to a solution.
My brothers are addicted to foul language, course joking, drinking, pornography, sexual immorality, pride, and greed. My sisters cannot control their tongues, they run wild with gossip. They struggle with depression, and the unshakable feeling of ugliness. They struggle to find self-worth because they have sold their bodies to whichever thief sweeps her off her feet first. I thought being a Christian was supposed to be an easy life; I thought God would make all of the bad and disgusting things in my life go away. Why don't my brothers and sisters see what you see? Why can't they even see what I see?
My heart aches for my brothers, mourns for my sisters, cries aloud for the needy. My heart longs to see your face, and I wish that they could see it too! Why can't they see it? It is because of me that your heart seems so far off. It is because of my example that your love is not apparent. It is because I am greedy, a gossip, unforgiving, lustful, boastful, proud, arrogant, condescending, and wretched. Why would I hold you back?
I've waited to long, with my heart in an iron box, to tell the world about what you've done and are doing. The church has done people wrong, and I am a part of the church. One church is not an example for the entire body of the Living God. Foul language and course joking have haunted me all my life. Pornography and pride have replaced moving hands, and running feet. And my sisters? Don't you know that God crafted you so masterfully and perfectly, above all of His creation? You are so beautiful and such a work of art in His eyes. Know that you are beautiful, but don't show it. Your body is meant to be kept behind a cloak of humility and modesty, not behind a stingy piece of cloth. My brothers, flee from an unmodest woman. Don't give yourself away, ladies and gentlemen, because your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. You sin against your very own flesh and body, and of course God. Your virginity and purity is not yours to give away. Keep your foolish gossip, idle talk, and slander behind your lying tongues. Your lips have the power to tear down and to destroy in a instant.
What is more appealing than God's grace? What is more beautiful than a fresh start, a clean sheet, a new beginning? What in hell is worth giving up eternal life? I am far from perfect, and miles from understanding, don't mistake that. What I want to do is question why we as humans do such foolish things and believe such terrible lies. Satan can lie to you all he wants, but only we have the power to send ourselves to hell- that is something we can do all on our own.
My heart hurts for you all so badly, but just hurting won't do you any good. Right now I tell the world that I will make a stand for what is beautiful and holy, and that I will preach the Word until my very last breath. I will give up everything for the sake of seeing God's kingdom advance. I will be beating, tortured, cursed, mocked, and killed for God's glory. This life is not for the weak, or those who couldn't cut it on their own. No, this life is for those who are willing to give up everything and live a hard life to see grace move forward. Hate who you were, and strive to be Christ-like. Love God above all things, and love others more than yourself- don't worry about anything else. Do everything for the glory of God. I'm no psalmist, but this is my heart.
